


Dessert

by Twyd



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Haunting, Jealousy, M/M, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Pre-Threesome, Shinigami, Slash, Voyeurism, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 04:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7786582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twyd/pseuds/Twyd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To mess with Light, Ryuk decides to fuck L.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dessert

L is alone. Always. Light is thinking it was a shame he killed Watari, as it would have been interesting to see how they behaved around each other in private. Light is thinking a lot of the things he did were a shame.

He would curl up in bed beside L every night when he was grieving, forehead on his shoulders, but L of course didn’t, doesn’t, feel a thing.

Light watches L at his computer assisting in political crises and brutal murder investigations as if his life depended on it. He is impossibly smart, and impossibly pressured. Light has perfected the art of his imaginary leaning against L, which neither of them can feel, but comforts him even so. He wishes he could give L a massage. Kiss his sore eyes. Tell him to come to bed already.

He likes getting to see the human side of L. Sometimes L would close his laptop at random and go out, go lie down in the nearest park and just stare. Light walks miles with him in strange cities, strange countries, just to order a particular kind of cake. He wears Light’s broken watch and fingers it often, leaves it beside him when he sleeps. It's the first thing he retrieves after going through airport security. It is his only possession that is not disposable.

Sometimes, when he can’t sleep, L opens his legs under the covers and, God help him, Light watches this too, how can he not watch.

He watches L shower, watches him sleep, watches him think, watches him cry. It’s torture. Sometimes he talks to L. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes he tries to even scratch him, or similar, in case it will work, but nothing ever works.

Ryuk drops by one morning when Light is snuggled up behind L, watching him go through his emails on his phone. He has not slept well.

“Still here, Light-o?” Ryuk calls cheerfully, perching on the bed. He waves a hand in L’s face, who doesn’t blink. “Hi, L!”

“Where else am I supposed to go?” Light mutters. “And leave him alone.”

Ryuk takes no notice.

“Guess what. I’ve been trying stuff, and I think I can take human form.”

“Good for you.”

He shakes his head.

“You don’t get it, Light. I mean, I’ve been like, talking to humans. I found a thing, it’s really cool.”

Light ‘lets go’ of L and sits up slowly. He stares at Ryuk.

“Are you saying you can – _talk_ to L? Right now? Do it! Tell him I’m here! Tell him- “

“Woah, not right now. I want a bit more practice. But I’ll come back. I’ll talk to him. You can talk to him through me.”

“You’ll still be able to see me?”

“Sure. I’ll be able to kind of phase you out, though. You know, for concentration purposes.”

Light nods.

“Please keep practising, Ryuk. Come back as soon as you can.”

“Oh, I will.” He starts cackling and jumps up off the bed. “There is so much I want to try.”

* * *

 

Light is coming back to the hotel with L when they find a strange man on L’s bed. A man with dark hair and odd features who looks disconcertingly familiar. He has extravagant clothes, spiked jewellery, sharp hair and a vicious grin.

“Sup, L,” he greets, like he owns the place.

Both L and Light stare at him.

“Ryuk...?” L says carefully. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugs.

“I just got curious. You know. About human stuff. I wanted to try it.”

L doesn’t move.

“Am I about to die?”

“Huh? Oh, no, no-one’s about to die. Chill. I’m just checking stuff out. How do you like my new look?”

“Er…”

“I’m seriously human. Check it out.” He reaches out and grabs L’s wrist. “See? Warm and everything.”

“Right.” L twists his arm free. “Um, are you supposed to…?”

“Not really,” he says. “But I was speaking to a guy who got away with so much stuff and, you know, why not.”

“But why here? Why me? I’m not your average human.”

“Why not?” Ryuk says. “You could be fun.”

“I - doubt that very much.”

“Ryuk,” Light interrupts impatiently. “Tell him about me.”

Ryuk takes no notice.

“Hey, L, can I have an apple? Sorry I don’t have any money. I know it’s an important human thing when you want something. Isn’t it?”

“Well, yes, but…it’s - fine.” He shakes his head, and goes to get Ryuk his apple. He moves slowly, as if he thinks the whole thing may be a dream he could wake up from any minute.

“Mm!" Ryuk explains, after sinking into the apple. "Human taste buds are so much better! You guys are really sensitive, huh?”

Light rolls his eyes.

“All right, Ryuk, you’ve had your apple. Now talk to him for me.”

L watches Ryuk eat, fidgeting. “Ryuk, what’s going on? How long do you think you’ll be here?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I could travel with you and help you with cases? I’d like to try all the fancy desserts with you.”

“No!” Light snaps. “What the hell are you doing, Ryuk? Tell him about me!”

“Oh, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” L says, biting his thumb.

“Relax,” Ryuk tells him. “I’m not going to hurt you. You can get on with your work. We can play video games if you get bored. I played Light.”

L flinches at the name.

“Light. Do you ever see him?”

“Light?” Ryuk repeats. “Nope, never did. Nothing left of him now.”

Light shudders with rage. He can hardly believe his ears.

L’s shoulders sink, oblivious.

“Oh,” he says now. “That’s a pity. I hope he’s in a good place.”

Light stares at him. For a moment he almost forgets his rage.

“Ask him what he would say to me if he could,” he pleads with Ryuk.

Ryuk takes no notice.

“I don’t have any video games, Ryuk,” L tells him now. “I think you’ll get very bored with me.”

“No, I won’t,” Ryuk says. “And that thing you’re working on, by the way, check MI5’s files. They have what you’re looking for. I was in the UK this morning.”

L stares at him. He hops on his computer and begins to type frantically.

“You’re right,” he says, after a few moments. He looks stunned. “I was going to check so many other things before this. You’ve saved me so much time. You’ve saved _lives_ , Ryuk.”

“Yah.”

L looks at him.

“...Thank you.”

“That’s OK.”

L keeps looking at him, tilting his head. He looks slightly less freaked out.

“Do you...want another apple?”

“I kind of want to try more human food,” he says. “Are any of your sweetie things apple flavoured?”

“Hmm, no, but I guess you could try a dessert. Apple pie, maybe. I’m sure the hotel has some. Let me check the menu. If not, I guess we could go somewhere…”

“No!” Light shouts. It bursts out of him, but L doesn’t even flinch. Light stalks over to Ryuk, who looks right through him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You are not going on a damn date with L to get some apple pie. What about what I have to tell him?”

“Hotel has it,” L tells Ryuk. “I’ll have some sent up now. Thanks again. I’m going to move on to something else. What a relief. I hate those kinds of analyses, they're so tedious.”

“Something else already? Have some dessert with me! You deserve a break.”

“Oh, I’m having some. But I’ll eat it here,” he says into the laptop, already distancing. “There’s always something to do.”

“Ah, come on L, you’ve got all night for that.”

L’s eyes jump back up. He frowns.

“You’re - staying?”

“Do you mind?”

“Well – yes, actually.”

“Oh.” Ryuk looks like he hadn’t considered this. Then he smiles. “That’s too bad. But I’ll help you with stuff, I swear. I’ll save lives and all that.”

“But what – what did Light do when he wanted some privacy?”

“Oh, Light liked having an audience.”

“Fuck you, Ryuk,” Light snarls.

L lowers his eyes.

“Yes, I bet he did.”

Their desserts arrive.

“Thanks, Lawliet,” Ryuk says cheerfully, once they’re alone.

Both L and Light jump.

“Sorry,” Ryuk says. “I know everyone’s names.”

“Lawliet,” Light murmurs to himself.

L eyes Ryuk warily over his desserts as they eat, keeping a safe distance away. He is oddly attractive, in a gothic kind of way. He wonders what other people would make of him. He _looks_ perfectly human, but there is something off about him. Something subtle. Like his teeth are too sharp, or his eyes an abnormal colour.

“This is so good,” Ryuk tells L. “I just want to eat all the time, it’s so good. What’s the best dessert ever?”

L offers him a weak smile.

“Oh, there are hundreds. It depends on your taste. My favourite is strawberry cake. I guess you have a sweet tooth, too.”

“Yah, who knew. Light lived on potato chips.”

L flinches at the name.

“Sorry, I won’t mention him again,” Ryuk says. “Forget about him.”

Light tries to punch Ryuk, but of course it does nothing, doesn’t even distract him.

“I wish it was that easy,” L sighs. “Is there anything else you wanted?”

“I’d really like to try alcohol,” he says. “Humans love that.”

“I’m not sure you would, if you have a sweet tooth. Though maybe Baileys, or a fruity cocktail.”

“Sure, get them.”

L smiles.

“You know what happens when you drink alcohol, right? I think you’d better stick to one.”

“Aw, come on, L, I want to experience everything. I know I don’t have any human money, but you’ve got loads of it. And you can help me drink it.”

“I don’t drink.”

“Oh, please? I guarantee I’ll solve that Korea thing you’re working on by tomorrow if you drink with me.”

L blinks.

“Really?”

“Give you my word.”

L thinks about it.

“Well…I guess it couldn’t hurt…”

Light can’t believe his ears. L starts flipping through the hotel menu looking for cocktails.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Ryuk,” Light spits. “Stop getting close to him.”

Ryuk doesn’t acknowledge him until L is at the door, getting their drinks.

“What is your problem, Light-o?” He whispers. “L probably hasn’t had company in years. Let him enjoy himself.”

Light is screaming at Ryuk by the time L comes back.

“Here we are,” he says. “Two cocktails, two baileys. The hotel desk recommended it, it has apple in it. And the smaller ones are the Baileys.”

“Cheers!”

Light sits there sulking while they drink. Ryuk asks incessant questions about what L does, about humans, and L seems to warm to him. He is curious of the Shinigami, considerably less cautious. It makes Light sick. He almost considers leaving, but he doesn’t dare leave them alone together, even if he is helpless.

“Ryuk,” L blurts suddenly. “Can you not call me Lawliet, please? Just L is fine.”

“Why? You think your room’s bugged or something?”

“No, I just…it’s just very strange for me.”

“OK. Sorry.”

They finish their drinks. L doesn’t go back to work. He looks a little flushed, spaced out.

Light sees what Ryuk is about to do, and doesn’t even have it in him to scream at him.

 _“Don’t._ Don't you dare _.”_

Ryuk takes no notice of him. He slides a hand over L's knee and kisses him. 

For a moment, to Light’s horror, L actually leans into him. Kisses him back. 

Ryuk puts his arms around him.

Then L's brain seems to catch up and he gives a start. Holds Ryuk back by the shoulders.

“Um, n-no, Ryuk, I’m sorry, I can’t. If you’re – if you’re curious about that, you have to go somewhere else.”

“Hey, it’s OK.” He brushes L’s hair off his forehead. “I know what to do, I won’t hurt you. Nothing will happen. It won’t affect your death or anything.”

L is shaking his head, backing away.

“No, I can’t. It’s too weird.”

“I’m _human_ , L.”

He steps forward and gets hold of him again.

"It's OK," he repeats. "I know you're lonely."

He kisses L again.

“He said _no_ , Ryuk,” Light calls. 

But it takes L a little longer to push him away this time, long enough to make Light nervous. Light sees him almost relax into it. He does finally push Ryuk away, but it’s weak, half-hearted.

His phone rings when they are still staring at each other, making them all jump.

L starts fumbling around for his phone. He pushes past Ryuk and takes it into the other room.

Light is on him as soon as he does.

“What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?”

Ryuk looks at him calmly.

“What’s up, Light? It’ll be like you get to fuck him too. You can tell me what to do. It’s not like you’ll ever get a chance to be this close to him again. You should enjoy it.”

“I don’t want _you_ to be close to him!” he howls. “It’s not fair.”

“Come on, think about it," Ryuk says. "I'll let you see everything. I'll hold him however you want."

For a moment, Light does think about it. Pictures it. He swallows.

Ryuk is watching him.

"I'll do whatever you say to him. It'll be good."

He shakes his head, disgusted with himself.

“He doesn’t even want it. He pushed you away twice.”

“He wants it,” Ryuk says. “I could feel his thing, it’s hard. And he’s lonely."

Light says nothing.

"I'll make him feel good. Or, you know, whatever you want.”

“You’re a Shinigami," he says angrily. "He doesn’t trust you. And he hasn’t even had that much to drink.”

“He wants it,” Ryuk repeats.

L comes back into the room. He is frowning.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Nobody.”

“I heard you.”

Ryuk shrugs.

“I was just - talking. You know. Thinking out loud.”

L stares at him. His eyes are hard.

“You’re lying to me.”

“L- “ Ryuk extends a hand to him.

“Don’t touch me.” L backs away from him. “Who else in here, Ryuk?”

“Nobody!”

“All your Shinigami pals? Is this all some big joke? See if we can fuck a human? Pick a lonely one and see what he does?”

“No! Nothing like that. It’s no Shinigami, I swear.”

“Who, then?” L suddenly turns pale. “It’s not – it’s not _Watari_ , is it?”

“No.” Ryuk puts his head in his hand. “Geez. Will you relax, L? It’s just some ghost that’s part of the hotel. I don’t know why it spoke to me.”

L shakes his head.

“You’re lying.”

“ _Tell_ him, Ryuk,” Light pleads. “Come on, you’ve had your fun. He’s going to work it out anyway.”

“Get out,” L says now. “Get out of here right now.”

Ryuk rolls his eyes.

“I’m a Shinigami, L, you can’t make me do things. I can still be here whether you can see me or not.”

“Then make me not see you,” he snaps. “I don't want to see you anymore.”

“Don’t you want to save lives faster?”

“I’m not entertaining you, not for anything.”

“It’s not entertaining,” Ryuk whines. “I like you, L. I want to do all the human stuff with you. I  – “

“Who’s in here with us, Ryuk?”

Ryuk avoids his eyes. L waits him out. Even Light goes quiet.

“Light,” he admits.

L takes another step back. He looks as though his legs might give out.

“… _Light?_ ” he whispers. “Did he – did he _tell_ you to do this?”

“No,” Ryuk answers. “He’s been screaming at me for the past few hours.”

L stares at him.

“Can I – can I speak with him?”

Ryuk doesn’t answer.

“Ryuk? Ryuk, please. Please let me speak with him. I can’t do that with you, but I can do anything else you want, I promise- “

Ryuk sighs and finds Light’s eyes. He looks annoyed. He extends his wrist and tugs out a beaded bracelet from his sleeve.

“Put this on,” he tells him.

L falls silent, confused.

Stunned, Light takes the bracelet and slips it on his own wrist.

Ryuk disappears, and L is staring at him. Neither of them move.

“Hi,” Light whispers.

L doesn’t move.

“Are you OK?”

L nods, slowly.

“Is it really you?”

“It’s really me.”

They stare at each other like animals.

“Can I touch you?” Light blurts. “Sorry. It’s been so long. I just want to - feel someone.”

L nods. Lets him approach. He sits on the bed, and Light sits beside him, puts two fingers on his shoulder. Then he rests his whole hand on his arm, moves it down to L’s hand.

“You’re warm,” L says, after a moment. “Are you breathing?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

L stares into his eyes.

“What’s going on, Light?”

“Ryuk was messing with me,” he says. “Because I’m always here.”

“You’re always here?”

“I’m always with you,” he says. He swallows. “You know how it is. I can’t go anywhere after I’m dead because I used the death note. No-one can see me. Not children, not animals, not people on their death beds.”

“But there must be something you can do,” L insists. “Go to - a church. See a clairvoyant.”

Light smiles for the first time.

“You believe in all that stuff?”

L glowers at him.

“I’m sitting here talking to you and you ask if I believe in it? Would you believe in a werewolf if it bit you?”

“All right,” Light says. His hand still covers L’s. “L, I’m so, so sorry. For everything. I really did consider you my friend.”

L looks down at their hands.

“You killed Watari.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You killed Watari,” he repeats. “And I still miss you.”

He leans forward and rests his head on Light’s shoulder.

Shaking, Light puts his arms around him.

L stiffens after a moment.

“Is Ryuk still here?”

“No. He disappeared as soon as I put this on. No-one’s here.”

L relaxes. Fingers the beads.

“Does this have a time limit or what?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me about it sooner. I could fucking kill him.”

L doesn’t comment on this.

“Is there anything you want me to do for you?” he says. “Any messages for your family?”

“Oh…just that I’m sorry, that I love them. There isn’t much worth saying. “

L keeps his head on his shoulder. He doesn’t cry. He never cries much, even after Watari’s funeral. He’s so warm, so vulnerable and _alive_ , Light’s wondering if he will cry himself.

“I wish you were here, Light,” L mumbles. “Really here.”

“I know,” he says. He fingers his watch on L’s wrist.

“Do you always watch me? It’s kind of weird.”

“Not to a creepy extent,” he dodges vaguely. “But, you know, I’m around.”

“Oh.”

He strokes L’s hair.

“You should look after yourself better.”

“Shut up,” he says wearily. “You should be alive.”

Light squeezes his hand. Eases L away from him.

“I’m going to call Ryuk and find out how much time we have.”

He shifts away from Light. His eyes are red. 

Ryuk looks sheepish when he’s called. He avoids L’s eyes.

“How does this thing work?” Light demands, holding up his wrist.

“24 hours,” he says. “And I’ve already used like six of them.”

Light glares at him.

“And then? Are there others?”

“Nope,” he says. “It’s kind of a one off. Neither of us should really be using it.”

“Fuck you,” Light thunders. “Get out of here. Leave us alone.”

He touches L again when Ryuk’s gone.

“Are you OK?”

He nods. Looks at him.

“Are you?”

“Yeah. I mean, nothing’s changed really. I’m dead. I’ve been dead all along. And visiting you now and then with a bracelet isn’t going to do either of us any good.”

L swallows.

“Is there anything you…want to do?” L asks, a little nervously. “I mean, you have about 18 hours. If you wanted to go somewhere special, or call someone…”

“Stay with you,” Light says. “I want to stay with you. I don’t mind what we do. What do you want?”

“Oh, you should decide. It's important, and it matters more for you.” He inches away from Light and curls up. “Honestly, if it were up to me, I just want to stay here with you and not do anything.”

“That’s OK.”

He shakes his head.

“You should do something.”

Light tugs his knees out of the way and holds him again. He can feel his heart. Neither of them say anything for a while.

“You were going to watch," L muses. His voice is flat.

Light swallows.

“Sorry.”

L nods.

“I probably would have watched,” he offers. “If it had been me. Sorry.”

Light almost laughs. He squeezes his hand.

“Let’s stay here and not do anything.”


End file.
